CHANNEL SURFER
By
Randeep Wadehra
Last rollercoaster seven days
witnessed positive achievement being overshadowed by disaster, and sobriety by
histrionics. Even as the Indian Navy was donning a couple of feathers in its
cap when INS Arihant’s nuclear reactor went critical and INS Vikrant was
launched, the small screen was cindered with flames from the gutted INS
Sindhurakshak – our most sophisticated submarine. There was little one could
learn about the causes, given the circumstances.
Politics and histrionics go hand
in hand; and one is not talking of occasional migration of film stars to the
political realm. Despite the Opposition’s resolve to cooperate in conducting
the parliamentary business, the proceedings hit two roadblocks, viz., Haryana
bureaucrat Khemka’s allegations against Robert Vadra and the “anarchist”
reference by our honorable Vice President. Despite the TV chatterati’s best
efforts the simulated outrage simmered down. However, the chatterati cannot be
deprived of its share of ho-hulla. So they focused on PM Manmohan Singh’s
probable meeting with Pakistan’s PM Nawaz Sharif in September. Watching the
breast-beating and whingeing, one could not help wondering at the chattering
classes’ inexhaustible ability to create din. Days before and after colorful
balloons floated skywards after the prime-ministerial I-Day speech, hot air
balloons were twirling and whirling in assorted news TV studios.
During the debate on the latest
killings of our jawans on the LOC, for a change, Pakistani panelists shattered
the decorum when one of them started calling Arnab Goswami “rude and
insufferable” on Times Now. Always quick with his ripostes, Goswami shot back,
“the day I resort to diplomatese I shall cease to be a journalist” or words to
that effect. Of course, as always, the Pakistanis refused to acknowledge that
their army had committed such a dastardly act. Moreover, there was far more
acerbic exchange involving Salman Rushdie’s frog analogy and Meenakshi Lekhi’s
cockroach rejoinder. Well, who needs to watch the saas-bahu nok-jhonk
on entertainment channels when you get a far more muscular stuff and that too
from real protagonists in real settings? However, while it is true that friction
can generate light, in TV debates it only produces heat. These jousting sprees
confirmed what this column has been saying all along, viz., TV talk shows are
more like wrestling matches, where lungpower replaces brawn and high-decibel
gobbledygook supplants technique. You only had to watch the Times Now debate
wherein the channel decided to present Indian and Pakistani panelists in two
distinct halves on the screen, each half sporting its national flag. Pretty
“tournamenty” ambience, that! And if you thought our politicos are good at verbal
fracas only, you are sadly mistaken; on the I-Day there were two gladiators –
from BJP and Congress respectively – brawling to unfurl the national flag in
Mussoorie. It is not clear whether the flag remained furled.
Histrionics were given full play
on the country’s Independence Day, with the active assistance of various news
channels. They relayed Modi’s speech just after the Prime Minister’s was over. Naturally,
Modi reveled in the attention. Full of bombast, bluff and bluster, he
challenged the PM for a one on one debate; damning the UPA’s policies on
governance, development and security. However, he cleverly avoided offering unambiguous
alternatives to the UPA’s policies and programs. Clearly, Modi wants to
singlehandedly change the Indian Constitution from the Westminster type to the
USA’s Presidential one, without either’s intellectual underpinnings. Wonder
what effect the patriarch Advani’s prompt remonstrations would have had. Meanwhile,
prices of vegetables blasted through the roof. News channels focused on the
smirking wholesalers who were conveniently blaming heavy rains for the
situation, while homemakers told the cameras how they had to avoid buying
onions – an essential ingredient in daily diet. Even as our neta log
were busy settling political scores on television, the aam aadmi’s
plaints against the zooming prices initiated no talk shows. But debates on the
plummeting Sensex were held promptly.
Published in The Financial World dated 19 August 2013
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